I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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