I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
