i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
