i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you would pick up someone in the library
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
