Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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