So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize