i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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