I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize