I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
