Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
