I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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