Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
