So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
