Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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