Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
