You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
