ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize