The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
