What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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