I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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