chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
