"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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