Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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