this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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