The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
