If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
