so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
