I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
