Grow some girl-balls and come out already
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
