Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
