'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
