Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Found the puke drawer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i believe in u and ur pee
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
