No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
