a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
