that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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