just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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