He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
