brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
