to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
