Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
