so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Randomize
