Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize