Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
