her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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