Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
