I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
