I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
