What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
