Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize