Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
