At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
