the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
