Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
