were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize