that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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