hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
