That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
