i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I cut my penus on the lid.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
