so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
