you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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