Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
honey bunches of taint.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
