dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
