we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
His hands were made for my vagina.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The power of my boobs compel you
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
