Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
