How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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