I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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