You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
