went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
