Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
