You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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