I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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