first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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