There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize