well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
