I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
