did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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