Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
